Life Changes..New Chapter..

We've reached another milestone in our lives that a repeat of a life event needs to happen.  We likely have been wanting to make the change long before this time but was convinced that nothing different will come of it.  I'm talking about 'Divorce'.  This is not the first time we've ventured into this territory.  The first time happened before I moved to Texas (15 years ago.)  We've lived together for the last 12 years as brothers and sisters.  It's as platonic as platonic is.  We both love each other dearly but no more than siblings do.

I haven't been able to tell anybody from my side of the family.  Is it embarrassment?  Is it the feeling that I might be seen as week?  Who knows.

The first time this happened, I was really afraid of what might become.  Katharine was only 2 years old and the thought of not having access to her scared me.  Kelly assured me that this will not happen since she knew that it would be devastating for both father and daughter if the relationship or access to the relationship was severed.  I remember telling Kelly, "ok, let's do what you want!" after her assurances.  No hesitation, signed the papers not even reading what it stated.  Fast forward seven (7) years later, we remarry and stay married until this year.

Over the years, I did not want to be alone.  I cannot imagine being anywhere else.  I do not know where to go; where to live; which direction to take; etc.  I had a job then so that was not an issue but the mere thought that I was moving out of home base (or her home as she always put it) was scary and stressing. This time is different.  Amazingly enough, I am not afraid. I have been unemployed for ten (10) months with no prospect but one or two phone interviews and from the looks of it could be a few more weeks/months of looking.  But like i said, I am not afraid. I'm actually looking forward to being somewhere else. Staying here prevents us from moving forward with whatever dreams we probably have been wanting.  This does give me an opportunity to fly home and see Dad and Mom since we missed our trip last year due to reasons I can't even remember now.

So many things to do.. not enough time.. limited resources.. but keeping my head high!  Moving on..!